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Sagot :
What grade is this for? Because depending on the grade, then I can see what needs to be fixed.
First of all you need to change the title (if that tile is not mandatory) to why college should be free and not why should college be free
second there is a typo in your first paragraph and some wording issues
i would change it with An immense amount of students could not and cannot afford to pay tuition for their education
make sure to include in all three of your body paragraphs information supporting you main ideas make sure to tell where you got the information and make sure to quote, for instance in your 3rd body paragraph you could find an article on average cost a student spends on textbooks and stuff like that be carful while doing this and QUOTE AND TELL WHERE YOU GOT IT FROM SO YOU DO NOT PLAGERIZE
good job on your transitions
and so far you are doing good on your essay
once you fix this stuff up it will match the rubric
- kay
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