Answer:
It's good, except you forgot to capitalize the first letter of the very first sentence. In the first page, somewhere in the middle, you wrote "bo9k" instead of "book". And last but not least somewhere around the end of the first page you wrote "This shows that the parents are trying even if there not doing perfect...". You should have written, "This shows that the parents are trying, even if there not perfect." And also try to seperate you essay into paragraphs. The first paragraph can be the intro, the second paragraph could be your first piece of evidence, your third paragraph could be your second piece of evidence, and so on. Make sure each paragraph has a minimum of 5-6 sentences.
Explanation:
Hope this helps! :)