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Sagot :
It’s correct, but I think it would be better if you put the word ‘also’ aside and add something like ‘in addition’ or ‘furthermore’. Instead of using commas you can try explaining what you did in your holiday with more details one sentence each.
you can say, “My winter break was good. During winter break, I got to sleep in, play video games with friends, and watch lots movies. my favorite thing i did this winter break was go to Universal Studios. (you can add in what you did. e.g. went on rides, played games. then add the last sentence as is!
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