The following is a draft of a student essay. It may contain errors.

Too Much Need for Approval

(1) People often think that they are being individuals by expressing themselves when in fact they are just conforming to societal expectations. (2) Whether it is through buying the latest clothing or "liking the latest" post on social media, people, especially young people, convince themselves that they are really expressing themselves. (3) However, the desire for approval shows that people are looking to outside sources for satisfaction that they should be gaining from themselves.
(4) Taking an interest in fashion can be a great way to see art in the everyday choice of what one wears. (5) However, there is also an element of following established expectations or rules. (6) While there is always some element of individual variation, most people are really just following social norms. (7) Most fashion is the result of trends determined by designers and marketing executives. (8) Teens tend to forget this fact as they often overemphasize the need to express themselves through clothing and assert that it is a critical aspect of their identity as a unique person. (9) In fashion, there can be an element of individualism and expression that is truly interesting.
(10) Perhaps the greatest place for the domination of group thinking is on social media. (11) When people post about what they are doing on social media and checks immediately to see a response, they turn into an immediate gratification machine. (12) The instant nature of the internet has already become problematic for people just by the mere fact of providing information so quickly, thus causing people to get accustomed to having what they want in the moment and not waiting at all. (13) Because of this, the internet actually rewires our brains. (14) While there is no escaping some of the internet's ill effects, stepping back and not feeding into the interconnected world can help offset some of the problematic consequences.
(15) The problem with constantly posting on social media is not just a matter of being too connected to technology—it is a matter of being too reliant on other people in general. (16) Always having to get other people to show they like what a person is doing has gotten way too out of hand. (17) There is value in doing things independently. (18) When people constantly look for someone else to say that what they are doing is okay, they lose an internal sense of what makes sense to them. (19) People need to be able to think for themselves and this takes practice, which takes time and therefore patience. (20) Unfortunately, this is something too many today lack.

9
Select the correct answer.
Which thesis statement should be included to effectively introduce the claim?
A.
As brain science continues to research how technology affects people, it will become clearer that technology harms our personal growth.
B.
Social media should be used as a platform to express individuality.
C.
Looking for immediate feedback generated from clothing choices or social media can hinder a person's ability to build personal confidence and have a sense of self-worth.
D.
Young people need to put away their phones and choose to participate in other activities that keep them away from technology.
E.
Social media is the only reason that young people copy the ever-changing fashion trends of others and struggle to develop personal confidence in their own choices.