To show what you have learned about revising and editing, you will revise and edit the second body paragraph of your response to the module writing prompt. If you need inspiration, check out the original and revised body paragraph in the lesson.

In the space below, paste your second body paragraph as it was written in your first complete draft.
On the other hand, teachers think that “it is not
enough work”. Teachers kept saying, “The more
you know, the better. They believe that students
need to know as much as possible to be successful
in life. But even parents say they can't spend as
much time with their kids because they're at school
most of the day and come home the rest of the day
to do homework. Students not only miss social or
family time, but they also have erratic sleep
schedules and find it more difficult to focus in class
because they are too tired to stay up all night
doing homework.





Revision Focus: Idea Development and Transitions

Carry out the following revisions to improve your second body paragraph.

Introduction of quotation: Improve the introduction of at least two of your quotations. Highlight the revision.
Evidence: Add or change (make it shorter, make it longer, or change it entirely) two examples in the paragraph. If you add an example, be sure it is explained. Highlight the revision.
Explanation: Strengthen the explanation of two of your examples by connecting the evidence and the controlling idea. Highlight the revision.
Connections: Add an explanation that connects the two texts. Highlight the revision.
Transitions: Include a minimum of three transitional words or phrases to connect ideas. Highlight the transitions in your topic sentence and within your body paragraph.
Edit: Read your new and improved second body paragraph. Ensure the spelling, punctuation, and usage are correct.
Include your revised and edited paragraph below: